Coping with Unemployed Friends

Despite a general upturn in the market, hiring has definitely lagged, making this one of the worst recessions from an employment perspective.  We’ve previously discussed coping with prolonged unemployment and underemployment, but I wanted to address another dimension: coping with unemployed friends.  Virtually all of us have an unemployed friend, some getting quite discouraged with their meager job search results, but most of us feel somewhat uneasy discussing this directly with them.  Here are some tips offered by a friend, Julie,who went through a bout of 15-months of unemployment before finding an appropriate position:

–Don’t disappear — one of the challenges of an unemployed person is dealing with the relative isolation compared to what they were accustomed to.  Rather than getting up and going to an office each day and interacting with colleagues, many unemployed persons first reaction is to find their new status very isolating.  Julie recommends taking the first step and reaching out to your friend and maintaining regular contact.  This might mean a brief call, emails, or even twitter, if your friend uses that.  The key point is to make them feel less alone.

–Be proactive in offering introductions and leads if you have them — most people have told me that their new job was obtained through contacts: friends, family members, acquaintances of former colleagues, friends of friends, and so on.  Although they may be shy in asking, any networking leads are quite valuable.

–Arrange get-togethers that are free or low cost — rather than getting together for lunch at a nice restaurant or shopping, suggest or arrange lower cost alternatives such as meeting for coffee, a walk in the park, or for a potluck meal.

–Be careful about offering financial advice — even if your friend asks, be careful about giving financial advice.  If your friend is genuinely needing information of how to construct a budget and deal with the financial aspects of unemployment, I would recommend offering a book or a website link to someone whose advice you find genuinely helpful.  Julie says that her past queries about finances or job ideas was not so much having questions as it was wanting an opportunity to chat and feel supported by someone else.

shared at this week’s Carnival of Personal Finance