Tired of the Smug Frugals?

One of my favorite books a few years ago was Bridget Jones’s Diary which I read long before the sequels and movies.  A witty phrase Bridget used to describe a couple were the smug marrieds, or the people for whom seeming to bask in a life quite different from hers, came across as smug and self-righteous rather than joyous.  Now, I think the phrase can be applied to the frugality and simplicity community.  The New York Times recently ran an article entitled, “But Will it Make You Happy?” where they featured a couple that cast away their upper middle class lifestyle and accompanying bills, stuff, and high paying careers, for a life of simplicity at much lower income levels.  Of greater interest to me was the comments on the article and on several blogs that have featured the article which characterized the couple as “smug” or having an air of superiority.  Others have characterized it as unsustainable.

What I have seen with people who have made the successful transition to a more simple and frugal lifestyle is precisely that they must no longer spend so much time caring about what others think of their lifestyle and have to stop comparing their material wealth with others to achieve a sense of balance.  In each case, the choice is highly individual.  Do I feel that these people sound like “smug frugals”, at times yes.  As I’ve written about before, being frugal for me is about having a set of priorities that may not correspond to what someone else thinks.  Here are some tradeoffs that I think about regularly:

–Should I emphasize earning more or spending less? — Everyone knows the key to saving, paying down debt and accumulating wealth is to spend less than you earn, however the question is which to work on more, the earning part or the spending.  For me, the earning part was what I emphasized in my 20′s and early 30′s; the spending in the last 5 years or so.  The more time that I spend on the flexible time/simple living part, the more this seems to be second nature.  However, I really don’t think this is for everyone.  If you enjoy your career, or are highly competitive in nature, or want to set very ambitious financial goals, greater emphasis on the earning component may be better for you.

--Should I feel guilty over certain conveniences? — In my initial foray into attempting to simplify our lives, I noticed an odd guilt over purchasing things that are not necessary, but are highly convenient or seem to add lots of benefit, such as electronic gadgets, a robust travel budget, high quality foods such as grass fed beef and some organic vegetables.  After carefully considering each area, I have realized that prioritizing good health, positive experiences, and some convenience is important.  Constantly worrying about it, is not.

–Am I projecting my values on to someone else? – One of the things that I like about much of the financial blogging community is that many of the bloggers and commenters appear to have similar views and attitudes at a time when simplicity and frugality are still counter-culture for the majority (at least that is my perception for the United States).  In the end of the day, despite the current recession, I don’t expect there to be a large shift in the desire for people to want more stuff.  Hopefully, more people can find a path that works better for them without feeling like they are being judged by others.

shared at this week’s Carnival of Personal Finance