Coping with a Job You Hate
Two weeks ago, I was on a business trip commiserating with people that I don’t normally see in person. The discussion turned to health and everyone chimed in about stress headaches, insomnia, consuming too much caffeine and other symptoms of a high anxiety work environment. In addition, a number of these people either experienced, or were close to someone who experienced, more severe problems related to work stress such as ulcers, relying on anti-anxiety medication, or marital and family problems (like divorce). With the job market still showing no signs of improvement, I expect that many people are simultaneously grateful for their job and income in brings in and resentful of each workday. Unfortunately, this means that many people are also hesitant to try to improve their current situation for fear of being targeted during a layoff.
When I was thinking of leaving the corporate world, it took me about a year to formally plan my escape, ramp up the savings, give notice and wind things down in a respectable manner (including training a few people to take over some tasks). I remember going through two phases: 1) where I absolutely destested the job, would start to feel tense on Sunday night, knowing that I would be in the office Monday morning, and 2) where I felt suddenly free and able to cope with most things in an efficient fashion. Reflecting on that, here are my recommendations if your job is getting you down:
Place an adequate value on yourself — most employers would, especially if push comes to shove, prefer to be flexible rather than lose a valuable employee. Thus, even during a recession, most employers will make reasonable concessions (especially if they won’t affect the bottom line). So, if you want to take some time off, change to more flexible hours or shift projects, it’s generally better to speak up about it earlier, than to let the frustration and resentment reach a boiling point.
Try to pinpoint the source of unhappiness — it might be fixable. Part of my unhappiness was a specific colleague that did not get along with. I found that shifting to a different project, minimized our interaction and greatly improved my attitude. If you feel your immediate surroundings are dragging you down, both physical surroundings and people, see if those can be improved.
Work to improve your health — by eating right, exercising, getting adequate sleep, and seeking medical help if needed. Feeling bad, because of some underlying health issue, is a sure way to also resent your day. One time I found out that I had been suffering a bout of tonsilitis, with an underlying low grade fever for a couple of weeks. Simply knowing that made me feel better, and after some antibiotics and lots of chicken soup, the office did not seem to be as much of a burden.
Plan an exit strategy — sometimes the situation cannot be fixed, but it is not a convenient time to leave. In these circumstances, make a plan for an exit strategy that might include a job search, saving more money, or learning new skills. After I had made the decision to leave, despite having a huge number of things to do, I suddenly felt energized with a plan (that took several months to execute) in place.
Concentrate on finding one fulfilling non-career activity — this may be in volunteering, a hobby, or spending time with friends or family members. Sometimes the best way to handle a difficult situation is to make it less of a focus of your life.
shared at this week’s Carnival of Personal Finance
I almost never comment on blog posts, but I couldn’t help myself this time. You’ve laid out the past six months of my life! My clerical job is far from challenging and has nothing to do with my degree, but I’ve been taught to take pride in my work, no matter how small the task. However, every day I alternate between feeling grateful to have a full-time job with benefits (especially as a recent college grad) and wanting to quit on the spot to find something else. A particularly disagreeable coworker that I need to work with on all projects has made the past year very unpleasant, which has been the biggest factor in my unhappiness.
However, I have a wonderful boss who tries her best to keep everyone happy, even if she can’t pay us more. She’s given me flexible hours to allow me to go to classes in preparation for graduate school. I never have to take work home, so that allows me to focus on family and personal health. She’s even trying to find projects for me to do in a different office so I don’t have to be around the unpleasant coworker (she understands why we don’t get along). These things have helped me maintain hope for my future and lessen the feeling that I’m completely wasting my time as an office drone. Thanks so much for writing about this!
Gwen, I’m so glad you commented. I find that many people, especially but not exclusively women, find their work environment troubling because one specific person is unpleasant. In many cases, the situation can be improved upon. Thanks for sharing your story. Best of luck in the office and your preparations for grad school.
[...] ElizabethG (Modern Gal) from Modern Gal presents Coping with a Job You Hate. [...]
My last job was like this and I started to hate getting up in the morning. The problems were unrealistic deadlines, combined with rude, disorganized and unprofessional management. Since it was a family-owned business and it had been run like this for almost 20 years, I could see that nothing was going to change. It was definitely affecting my personality and my family life.
So, I started a job search and then I quit. It was dicey for a bit, but I now have the best job I have ever had in my career. I also make a lot more money and everybody in my family is much happier. BTW, I recomend getting a new job before quitting. But, they forced an issue with me and I handed them my resignation. Luckily it turned out OK.
The point I wanted to make is that I have had good jobs and bad jobs in my career. And, I now recognize bad jobs quickly and I am less inclined to stick it out and take one for the team. Bad jobs seem to have a couple of things in common; the company is poorly run, they allow personal attacks and unprofessional behavior and they expect the world from employees, while offering very little in return.
Don’t let one of these selfish companies suck your soul, no matter what they promise you in money or advancement. There are plenty of good companies who are looking for talented employees. You will be way better off, if you raise your standards when looking for an employer.
Bret, you make a number of good points. Certainly I find myself much less tolerant of a bad situation than I used to be.
You say, “Don’t let one of these selfish companies suck your soul, no matter what they promise you in money or advancement. “ I agree, but I know when your in the midst of having your soul sucked, it can be hard to look think of alternatives.
Good to hear from someone who made it to the other side. Thanks for commenting
Very good suggestions! Thanks for a great post.
Gail, thank you. I’m really glad Gwen and Bret posted their experiences.
Unfortunately for me, the source of my unhappiness in my previous job was the change in management. I opted for the exit strategy and applied for another job while gracefully attempting to exit. My next job saw a pay cut of around 10% but I never regretted my decision. I’m now much happier in my new job as it allows me more time and less stress, which significantly improved my life overall.
Andrew, thanks for hilighting some of the tradeoffs. Sadly, mergers, acquisitions, shuffling of senior management is often done without consideration of how it will affect the staff. I’m glad you’re now much happier.
Great post – I especially liked the bit about identifying what it is that you don’t like about your job. I wrote a similar article on this topic over at Primer Magazine but I focused more on the “exit strategy” angle. I really enjoyed your take on this.
http://www.primermagazine.com/2009/earn/man-up-everyone-hates-their-job
Jack, thanks for the link, some good advice there. It seems like a lot of people are discontent w/ there jobs.