Simplifying Birthday Celebrations
If you’ve read my posts on simplifying Christmas and Easter, you might think that I’m a curmudgeon with respect to celebrations and holidays. On the contrary, I like special days a lot. What I find problematic is the arms-race style of competition to outdo things bigger and better and more expensive than your neighbor. It is both stressful and costly and in the case of most holidays, seems to contradict some of the deeper meaning of the special day.
Recently, we had a birthday in the Modern Gal household (hint, not mine). In typical fashion, we celebrated the way we celebrate most special days, with a special home-cooked meal, a dessert made of dark chocolate, and the gift of a book that has already been finished. Although this may seem austere by some standards, I can recall attending many birthday parties that had special printed invitations, gift bags, and fancy catering where hosts were stressed out and the guests didn’t have much opportunity to interact with each other or the birthday boy/girl. For special birthdays, look instead at the following:
–Aim for experiences, like a special outing, a picnic, or a day off. If there’s an activity that only one member of a couple likes (like antique browsing) offer to indulge the birthday person on their special day. For young birhtday boys and girls, consider a family outing that the child would really like.
–Create rituals around birthdays so that the birthday person feels special. Breakfast in bed, a single red rose, a special note, are examples of things that are fun, appreciated, yet simple.
–Instead of expensive gifts, give a book on a topic that you know the birthday person is really interested in.
–Let the birthday person pick their favorite meal and prepare it at home. For people who absolutely can’t cook, consider picking up the meal from takeout and serve it on your best dishes at home with candlelight. Or invite a small group over for a simplified meal.
Most of all, keep in mind that a day can be special without being exhausting, over-scheduled, or costly.
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see other hints and ideas in Works for Me Wednesday
We have a birthday just around the corner, so good to keep these in mind. I think rituals and traditions are by far more special then presents. Thanks!
Love the idea of simplifying … it’s a must for me, since my 3 girls’ birthdays are all within a 2-wk period. Super ideas; thanks!
Hi Kirsty, indeed I prefer the special traditions. Let’s hope others will join in.
Hi Susan, oh my 3 birthdays! Sounds like fun.
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Great ideas. I recently wrote about simplifying birthdays, too. They can get so out of control, which is no fun for anyone!
Jamie
These are great ideas. I just celebrated 2 of my sons birthdays last week. The birthdays are 2 days apart. I have been working on scaling down. I implement some of your ideas (like letting them choose what I make for dinner and putting up simple decorations so they wake up to birthday fun. I am slowly learning that it takes little to make them feel special and that creating birthday stress only takes away from the special day. Thanks for this great post.
My latest post: Deceived by Complacency
Steadymom, indeed.
Jane Anne, great to hear. Happy birthday to both sons.
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We simplified birthdays here many years ago, and I’m so glad we did! The parties were getting way out of hand!
A lovely post Elizabeth.. I couldn’t agree more that rituals and experiences are the things that give us joy about special days, and not the stuff.
Not sure if you are familiar with the “Complete Tightwad Gazette” from the 90′s. At one point in the book, the author describes how she and her family made a huge ‘pirate ship’ out of recycled material for her child’s birthday.. It cost next to nothing, but was something the family did together and apparently the children talked about it with great happiness for years after.. I really love the idea of making special memories like that..
A co-worker of mine had a birthday last week. I did up a little gift box (everything was re-used, right down to a piece of ribbon) with two new release film rentals from the library (that were a bit tricky to get), a small bottle of homemade wine and two packages of microwave popcorn.. I wasn’t sure that she’d be thrilled about it since I didn’t spend any money, but happily she was!
Annie and Julie, I spot a trend here. I like it.
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