Aligning Financial Goals

I recently read a lengthy article that examines the challenges of financial concerns within an entrepreneurial relationship. Written, with a rare candor, the author, wife of Stonyfield Farm’s entrepreneur Gary Hirschberg talks of the many challenges they faced, financial and emotional during the long years it took for the business to break even. Certainly the stresses that accompany financial uncertainty compound any issues.  It’s no wonder that money problems are cited as the biggest source of argument among couples.

One curious thing that I’ve found is that, as a culture, modern western society to be very forthcoming about a lot of personal details, including sex, details of childhood, and trauma, and yet we tend to be very secretive about finances.  Without candid discussion, a relationship can be strained by a mismatch of financial goals.  And now with the economy forcing many households to shift to a more frugal lifestyle, differing attitudes toward money can cause even greater rifts.  The following are different types of attitudes that impact a relationship:

1) Attitude toward spending versus saving — Does one person squirrel away every penny and the other spend without thinking; is spending something that is planned or spontaneous?

2) Attitude toward risk — in the article above both persons seemed to have similar attitudes toward risk despite all of the challenges described.  In most relationships, one person will be more risk averse than another, the key is to make sure the relationship operates within the boundaries.

3) Attitude toward certainty — are you the kind of person who needs to have things planned out in an orderly manner? Is your spouse? The ability to deal with uncertainty has a lot to do with financial planning, taking on entrepreneurial activities and saving money

4) Attitude toward giving — When asked for a donation, are you likely to give a very different amount than your spouse?  Differential views toward giving (and lending money to others) is another source of potential conflict as it could have a large impact on the pace of saving money.  Best to know if there are substantially different views here.

More next week for financial planning suggestions for couples.

See more at this week’s Festival of Frugality